Stop Avoiding Difficult Conversations: An Expert Gives Us the Key!

Having difficult conversations has always been a problem in every family, which is why we present a quick guide to make the uncomfortable more comfortable.

On this occasion, we interviewed expert Adriana Alejandre, founder of Latinx Therapy, who partnered with Breyers to help Latino families facilitate difficult conversations without hurting anyone’s feelings. This inspiring project, which is called Vanilla Conversations, is a guide designed to establish conversations that demystify stigmas that can recur within multigenerational households. It is not uncommon for some family gatherings to end in a fight after an aunt asks, “Why aren’t you married yet?” or “When are the children coming?” If you have felt offended by any of these questions and don’t know how to react -without spoiling the family gathering- you must read on.

What motivated you to collaborate with Breyers for the Vanilla Conversations project? 

It is an honor to collaborate with a brand that prioritizes mental health. Breyers is a brand I grew up with that brings back many beautiful memories. When I learned about the mission behind Vanilla Conversations, I knew I wanted to be a part of this initiative. I identify as Latina, I’m the daughter of immigrants, I’m a mother, and I’ve lived in a multi-generational household for 32 years. Vanilla Conversations provides support, education and awareness with practical and compassionate skills for all generations. This collaboration lets me continue to destigmatize mental health for a larger audience.   

Why is it important for our community to have difficult conversations, especially within multigenerational households?

Talking about taboo topics helps to normalize those conversations, quell shame and prevent future problems. Our community is uncomfortable talking about these topics, and we tend to avoid sensitive conversations because they open up poorly healed wounds from the past. This causes hostility because we don’t know how to communicate the message without sounding preachy, or we don’t see that a sensitive conversation can be a form of prevention. In multigenerational households, these sensitive topics have effects on the different generations. The way one generation approaches a conversation becomes an acquired behavior for the next. For our families to break the vicious cycle, we must learn to create space for ourselves and our loved ones, work through the discomfort, and educate ourselves on sensitive topics so future generations might have a better example and live more consciously.